Ryan Gosling as Ken within the new Barbie movie is a masterstroke of casting | Films

We stay in fractious occasions. The web has diminished us all to hundreds of ultra-specific tribes, all of whom sit in indignant, steadfast opposition to 1 one other. At our worst, it appears like humanity may not ever be capable of agree upon something ever once more. However this week, a miracle occurred. Two images have been printed to the web; two images that immediately united the entire world into one universally agreed-upon opinion. And that opinion is that this: The Barbie film appears fairly good.

Though that was already the consensus, given that it will be directed by Greta Gerwig from a script she co-wrote with Noah Baumbach, the pictures of the 2 leads put it past all doubt. Margot Robbie, who performs Barbie, is immediately as Barbie-esque as you may think about, all blond hair and smiles and shiny pink automobile. Her Barbie her appears like a model of Robbie’s Sharon Tate, or Robbie’s character from The Wolf of Wall Avenue. The casting is ideal.

After which there’s Ryan Gosling. Gosling will play Ken in Barbie and, once more, it is a position he was born to play. His hair His is bleached peroxide blond, prefer it was in The Place Past the Pines. His abs and arms are on show, like they have been in Loopy, Silly, Love. He has a blankly impenetrable facial features, like he did in most of that Blade Runner movie. Throw in his outfit his – which, underwear apart, is solely made up of stonewash denim – and there’s a very sturdy likelihood that this shall be his defining position his.

As Barbie-esque as you may think about … Margot Robbie. {Photograph}: Jaap Buitendijk

The casting is so good, actually, that this may necessitate a rethink in the case of film diversifications of toy franchises. Till now, the intuition has largely been to both drown everybody in an incoherent CGI sludge (Transformers) or to only forged the closest A-lister no matter their suitability for the position (The Rock in GI Joe: Retaliation).

So let’s begin now. Given the internet-breaking energy of the Gosling and Robbie Barbie pictures, the neatest factor we may do is to connect the next stars to those as-yet-unmade toy motion pictures as rapidly as potential.

Bratz

For a time period, Barbie misplaced tempo to Bratz dolls; a variety of cheesy and uncomfortably sexualised vogue dolls. There was an try in 2007 to make a Bratz film, however the movie failed for all method of causes, not least as a result of the celebs weren’t (and nonetheless aren’t) well-known sufficient. If Bratz goes to succeed on the field workplace, it wants leads who – just like the dolls – have grow to be careworn and uncared for since their early-2000s heyday. For this reason it must star Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Tara Reid.

Stretch Armstrong

A perennial favourite, because of his gel-filled limbs, Stretch Armstrong has but to translate to motion pictures. God is aware of that Hollywood has tried, although, variously casting Tim Allen, Taylor Lautner and Danny DeVito in a number of failed diversifications. The difficulty, you believe you studied, is that they have not discovered the precise Stretch but. Stretch Armstrong is blond and rugged, sort however athletic. It takes a really particular individual to play him, which is why I recommend actually any Hollywood actor named Chris.

Strawberry Shortcake

Strawberry Shortcake was a wildly standard greetings card mascot who grew to become a toy sensation within the Eighties. Though she nonetheless exists as an ongoing IP – most just lately in Netflix’s animated Strawberry Shortcake: Berry within the Massive Metropolis film – she has but to obtain the complete Barbie therapy. This could be finest achieved by placing Emma Stone in a giant hat and letting her do no matter she needs.

the next He-Man, Kyle Allen.
Too younger … the subsequent He-Man, Kyle Allen. {Photograph}: Valérie Macon/AFP/Getty Photographs

Sindy

Readers of a sure age will bear in mind Sindy as Barbie’s British rival. Much less well-known and barely inferior to her American counterpart Sindy nonetheless attracted the ire of Barbie ‘s creators, Mattel, who promptly filed a copyright infringement lawsuit towards its producers for painstakingly ripping off their higher recognized creation. As such it solely appears truthful {that a} Sindy film ought to star Robbie after a botched spherical of beauty surgical procedure and several other catastrophic dental procedures.

He-Man

There’s really a Masters of the Universe film being made, and it begins taking pictures subsequent yr. The lead has already been forged, and He-Man shall be performed by Kyle Allen from West Facet Story. However this appears like a mistake. Judging by all of the pictures of Allen on-line, he appears too younger and meek to play the defender of Eternia. As a substitute, we’d like somebody somewhat older, with bleach-blond hair and rippling abs and a pores and skin tone that solely falls barely wanting being radioactive. That is proper, He-Man needs to be performed by Ken from the Barbie film – Ryan Gosling.

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